Wednesday, July 13, 2022

Common-Law Marriages

 

Pennsylvania dissolved CL marriages Jan 1st 2005, however those who were CL prior to this date were grandfathered in.

Lawyers apparently didn't receive the memo, because a recent case dropped into the laps of Keystone Advocates, whereas a 74yo woman who was CL since 1991 with this man "Mike", and recently & wrongfully evicted from her home of 30+ yrs by his realtor daughter, rendering the woman homeless; these attys refused to help citing Pa dissolved CLMs.

Keystone Advocates jumped in and filed a CL divorce, and filed for spousal support at domestics. KA assist people statewide free of charge. They're a branch of PALA, Pennsylvania Labor Advocates, who were assisting fired workers from the vaccine mandate last September 2021.

Today KA received a distress call from a woman whose CL husband is in UPMC hospital in Harrisburg. His son has POA, and refused her to see her husband. Patient advocate threw her out & called security. Hospital admin & legal refuse to speak to her. (She contacted the Pittsburgh headquarters to no avail.) His POA is for financial & medical. The POA doesn't exclude marital rights. The hospital's legal dept knows this.

A potential lawsuit may have to be filed. UPMC is not new to lawsuits as there have been plenty, one being last winter, where a patient was denied under the right to try act, signed by President Trump, the right to use alternative medicines in regards to covid and a lawsuit was filed & ruled in patients favor, however it was too late, the patient died. *UPMC is an insurance company who bought into hospitals, that should be very telling.

I cannot understand where the lawlessness is coming from, as it appears to be only narrative serving. It is truly a shame people have no legal resources to assist them. The local legal aid MidPenn Legal Services refused to help either of the women. (Dickinson College, Marshall U same refusal.)

It is taking the people to rise up and help themselves. *And they're winning, going up against school districts, county & state gov'ts et al.

 

If you wish to help 'Helen" you may donate here: https://gofund.me/c55f047e

https://gofund.me/c55f047e https://gofund.me/c55f047 https://gofund.me/c55f047e

 

 #commonlaw #marriages

https://gofund.me/c55f047e#commonlaw #marriage




Friday, July 1, 2022

Kratom

 Opinion OPED
 
I've been a Kratom user since March of 16. I had ID'd on Oxycontin & Fent. I suffer from chronic pain. 
 
Kratom is the sister to the coffee plant.  It works like an opioid by blocking pain receptors. Despite the warning labels, it's not addictive. Not from my experience. If I am out, I do not experience any 'withdrawals'. It's alternative medicine therefore a threat to big pharma. It derives mainly from Indonesia & Asia.
The 3 strains:
White - for energy /diet
Green - mood; ppl have stopped using antidepressants &  addicts use for withdrawals 
Red - Pain
 
The sellers must be careful in their 'advertisement' as big pharma/FDA have rules. They cannot say certain things, such as: The green vein helps with opioid withdrawals. Drug users allegedly claim that this helps them when they cannot obtain their fix. The green vein has allegedly helped people wean off their psyche meds as it helped with anxiety and mood. 

I was leery of it, as many posted their experiences on GLP, all positive. I was an opioid user at the time; Legally via physician prescription & DAW. I did have an O.D. back in 16, where I accidentally mixed a different drug with the cocktail I was prescribed. Post O.D., I looked for alternatives, and Kratom was my resolve. To date there haven't been any issues and my physician is aware and satisfied with the result. I  did however, switch from the capsules to the liquid they call 'tinctures', which is fast acting, and more expensive.
 
I had heard, big pharma bought the top 10 Kratom sites too back in 18. They tried banning it on a federal level in 17 but it failed.  Pennsylvania tried banning it in 18 but it failed. 

Advice, do not buy gas station Kratom. Best to get it from a non big pharma site. Pabotanicals.com & gregsbotanicals.com come highly recommended and they're privately owned. Moist places have sample packs. If you're a chronic pain sufferer this might be a solution. 

It is banned in several states, and many states have classed it as a sched 1 drug. Check to see if your state is on the list:
 
Kratom may not be for everybody, but for me, it works controlling my pain levels. Even post surgeries, in lieu of my taking prescribed Percacets (20 pills dispensed), I decline the Rx, and continue my Kratom use.

I am an advocate, and a member of the "Don't Punish Pain" group for my state and nationally as well.
Check your state to become a member.

Kratom use has become more common despite warnings that it's addictive

The drug has been touted as a treatment to opioid withdrawal symptoms, but many people use it to get high. In Pennsylvania, lawmakers are seeking to ban sales to minors


Monday, June 27, 2022

The socio-breakdown of society

 This thread was written on twitter back in May. The socio breakdown of society embeds itself within this McDonald's. See below for twitter thread. https://twitter.com/C3r33s/status/15339560PK_2V0mt17I4Q045848162304?s=20&t=a-REyyUn

When a district office, which happens to be (link-->) Levine Enterprises Inc of Carlisle Pennsylvania, condones a managers abominable behavior and tells the customer not to return to the store, that speaks volumes.

Question.....how would YOU react if you're at a drive thru, and you're presented with a self-service food order by the window clerk, (Yes - you put it together) and when you complain, the manager laughs in your face,  you proceed to call their district office, and the manager curses at you  how would you react? 

I felt justified in my response. Those who 'want' respect, GIVE respect. They deliberately mis-prepared my order out of sheer laziness, offered no apology, and upon my complaining to mgmt I get cursed at in the interim. District office: I first spoke with Nicole. Then followed up with Miles/Milo. This man was trite, and instructed me to go 12miles away to their other location because the foul mouthed mgr didn't like me.

22yrs I have patronized this location. You should see my app points, nearly a million.  This location has repeatedly messed up my orders. In lieu of correcting their deficiencies, and training their crew appropriately, they take the easy way out, via mailing out freebie coupon cards (Which I didn't receive this time)

These workers cannot even make a cup of coffee, yet they're paid $13hr here in Pennsylvania. 

I do not care who you are, you will NOT curse at me, nor mock me. I'm a paying customer, I reserve the right under the Fair Trade Commission and consumer laws to have my order made correctly. McNasty doesn't sell nor do they advertise self service meals/drinks. Instructing me to put my drinks together is false advertising.

Levine Enterprises, was reminded by me, the customer, that there is video surveillance at the drive thru window. The incident was on tape. So Levine Enterprises of Carlisle Pennsylvania, condones a managers abominable behavior and tells the customer not to return to the store, that speaks volumes.



https://twitter.com/C3r33s/status/1533956045848162304?s=20&t=a-REyyUn0PK_2V0mt17I4Q

 

 

 #mcdonalds #mcnasty #levineenterprises #halifax #pennsylvania #carlisle

Sunday, June 26, 2022

Why Partners Stray

I do not watch much television. I refer to it as the idiot box, as my father used to call it. I came across a TV show called "Cheaters", and I was floored at the amount of shows in its episode archives. The show has been around for years. two decades at least.

Over the course of my natural life, almost half of people in monogamous relationships acknowledge cheating on a partner. Anyone who has ever experienced a partner's infidelity can report how damaging it is to the relationship and one’s overall sense of trust and self esteem.

After infidelity, big questions loom: Why did they cheat? Were there signs I missed? And perhaps most devastating of all: Did I bring this on myself? We are always looking for cause and effect in human behavior, but the answers are seldom clear, especially regarding intimate relationships. Retrospect provides a lot of information, but unfortunately, it is in the form of hindsight.

When we look at infidelity, there are a lot of underlying factors that can contribute to the behavior. It can be useful to examine these factors, whether you are trying to maintain the relationship or just heal and move on.

Let's look at the cheater pathology shall we? 

The first aspect of cheating to examine is the person engaging in the behavior. While it is impossible to determine every scenario or characteristic that factors into a person’s actions, these five aspects may indicate a propensity toward self-serving behaviors like infidelity.

  1. Ego: A person’s sense of themselves can play a critical role in whether they cheat on their partner. If someone’s worth is tied up in others’ evaluation of them, it is easier to submit to the temptations of infidelity when someone shows interest outside the primary relationship.
  2.  Personality Components: After someone finds out a partner was untrue, they may hear others say things like, “I always thought he seemed like someone who would cheat,” or just the opposite: "Wow, she didn’t seem like the cheating kind!” There isn’t necessarily a “cheating kind,” but certain personality traits may suggest a greater willingness to stray. People who view themselves as superior to others (think narcissists) may justify infidelity as allowing oneself access to a special connection that their primary partner does not possess. It is common for people with narcissistic personalities to select partners with low self-esteem or fear of abandonment, as this is a guaranteed supply of adoration and praise. Infidelity is then a common behavior when boredom with the primary partner (to whom they feel superior) sets in.
  3. Factors of empathy: The ability to feel for others' emotional states can also play a role in a person’s willingness to stray from a relationship. Most people have an ingrained ability to imagine how others may feel, which can be a helpful guide for behaviors. Those who do not have a natural sense of empathy are more likely to cheat on their partner because the feelings of others are not relevant.
  4. Opportunistic Tendencies: Some folks may not go looking for an affair, but if an opportunity presented itself and there was little chance of being caught, they might act on it. It can be difficult to predict who would fall into this category, as it is so situation-specific, but a person’s ability to “do the right thing” even when no one is watching is a factor in this scenario.
  5. Inability to Set and Maintain Self-Imposed Limits: When we desperately want something (or, in this case, someone), the deciding factor of whether we take action is based on our ability to tell ourselves “No” and commit to that decision. Some people may be able to set and keep self-imposed limits on certain aspects of their life but not others. It is important to note that just because someone struggles w/willpower in one area of their life, it does not mean they will be unable to stick to a commitment in another area.

Toxins Within a Committed Relationship That Impact Fidelity

  1. Communication Problems: Couples unable to communicate their thoughts, feelings, and needs to one another face a greater chance of an emotional disconnection that can leave both people feeling alone in the relationship. Lonliness within a monogamous relationship can be dangerous territory, particularly if the couple is not working on improving the situation and building better communication dynamics.
  2. Long-Standing Resentments: Over time, most relationships develop resentments or negative feelings due to circumstances that occur within the relationship. While some degree of resentment is considered “normal and expected,” these feelings can fester into destructive behaviors, and people justify infidelity if the resentment is strong enough.
  3. Sexual Dysfunction or Lack of Intimacy: Couples who are not sexually compatible or lack intimacy can be at greater risk of infidelity due to unmet physical and emotional needs. Some couples weather sexual problems without infidelity. It largely depends on the specific dynamics of the relationship. If a couple is healthy in other ways, sexual dysfunction can be overcome with different types of connection and intimacy. 

 It is also important to recognize that some people may not be cut out for monogamy. If you or your partner struggles with long-term, monogamous relationships, it might be worth examining this to see if a conventional relationship is the best avenue to pursue. Talking about these factors early on can save a lot of pain or unexpected heartache down the road. 

 

#cheaters #relationships #monogamy #singles

Some people should not be parents

 

I became very upset when I came across this article. I did foster care for many years. All of the children came from impoverished low income homes, junky parents, and abusive situations.

Reading this, tossed that stereotype out the window.  

 link > Mom, after wanting a baby for years: "I regret having my son"

 I couldn't ascertain WTH this woman was thinking. She regrets having this child because she lost sleep? Seriously? And she didn't consider the lack of sleep part of the package? What did she think babies do for at least the first 0-4yrs of their life? Holy socks! I truly find this obtuse in all reasoning.

This poor child had to grow up with this rejection. I do not know how old this child is but this woman should have CPS (Child protective services) called on her. The father clearly knew they weren't ready. 

I have been a foster parent 30+ yrs and the amount of trauma these children endure, regardless of it being intentional/unintentional, is tantamount to rejection. To live with that is damaging to one's persona. You never lose that. You carry that for life. Even with forgiveness, it stays with you.

#parents #children #rejection

 

What Love Really Looks Like

 I've been down this road so many times, my dinosaur sends me hallmark cards. Many claim finding love is a difficult feat, I find it difficult to hold onto. People have been socially conditioned to where people have become disposable. 

My parents have been together 68yrs. Through good times, and bad. Not one walked out. No thoughts of divorce. No 'the grass is greener on the other side' nonsense. No "goomars" on the side. My father & mother are devout Catholics, so yes, they come from a different time. The principle remains, y6u take a vow, you honor that vow. I failed that course. Although my reasons I hold valid, it's still no excuse. I'll admit my part in choice. My choices were poor. The men I've been with, didn't have any values whatsoever. Respect being number one.

Couples that're truly in love engage in nonverbal behaviors such that the amount of love can be measured by these body language cues.

 I’ve heard it said hundreds of times: “That couple looks like they are in love.” Obviously, there must be some body language cues that suggest that two people are indeed in love.

The role of nonverbal communication in loving relationships: Motivational differences matter. Lovers are simply more attentive to a partner than they are to friends, acquaintances, or strangers. As a result, you can identify people who are in love because they are more physically close to their partner. Persons in love will tend to allow the other into their most intimate personal space “bubble.”

Because lovers’ faces are closer together, and they are more directly oriented to one another, they are thus better able to read each other’s nonverbal facial cues. They are more attentive, notice subtle changes in facial expressions, and, as a result, are more in tune with each other. Reading facial cues is critical to making an emotional connection with another person, so lovers have a clear advantage.

This is why lovers can be easily identified: They tend to engage in more mutual gaze – looking deeply into each other’s eyes. In fact, one can measure the degree of intense intimacy in a relationship based on the amount of time that a couple engages in mutual gaze.

Nonverbal "bids.": Couples in love exchange “bids.” A bid can be a look, a touch, a brief gesture—any body language cue that tells the other person that “I care about you and want to be connected to you.” In fact, when one partner consistently does not respond to the other’s bid, it can be an indication that the love connection between the two is diminishing. When partners who are attentive to one another and consistently respond to the other’s “bids” tend to have more stable, loving relationships. However, couples that are headed for divorce tend to not respond to the other’s bids more than half of the time.

Intimacy is important. Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). For these individuals, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, and are a source of deep fulfillment.

While need for human connection appears to be innate, the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. Some evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship starts to form in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they are theorized to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others. The end of a relationship, however, is often a source of great psychological anguish.

Maintaining a strong relationship requires constant care & communication, and certain traits have been shown to be especially important for fostering healthy relationships. Each individual should, for starters, feel confident that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to the other. They must both also be committed to accommodating their differences, even as those change over time.

In the 21st century, good relationships are generally marked by emotional and physical fairness, particularly in the distribution of chores necessary to maintain a household. Partners in strong relationships also feel grateful for one another, openly provide and receive affection, and engage in honest discussions about sex.

In good relationships, partners try to afford their partner the benefit of the doubt, which creates a sense of being on the same team. This feeling, maintained over the long term, can help couples overcome the challenges they will inevitably face together.

Finding a partner with whom to share a life is a wonderful but frequently difficult process. Whether it's conducted online or in-person, the search will likely push an individual into unfamiliar settings to encounter potential partners. To be successful, it is often necessary to go outside of one's comfort zone.

Determining whether a particular person is suitable as a potential mate, and whether a connection reflects temporary infatuation or true love, can challenging, but research suggests that there are revealing clues in behavior.

One possibly counterintuitive indicator of a potential match is one's sense of self. Someone who would make a good partner may push an individual to discover new activities or beliefs that expand their own self concept. Another early signifier may be stress: Repeatedly interacting with someone whose impression matters deeply to us can fuel anxiety. Other positive indicators include being highly motivated to see the person and investing a significant amount of time, emotion, and energy into the budding relationship.

How relationships fail: Every relationship represents a leap of faith for at least one partner, and even in the happiest couples, the very traits that once attracted them to each other can eventually become annoyances that drive them apart. Acquiring the skills to make a connection last is hard work, and threats may spring up without notice. In short-term, casual relationships, neither partner may see a truly viable long-term future together, but often only one takes action, in some cases ghosting the other, walking out of their lives with no communication, not even a text. 

For some couples, infidelity is both the first and last straw, but a surprising number of relationships survive betrayal, some only to have their connection upended by everyday threats such as a loss of interest in physical intimacy, or a waning of positive feeling in the wake of constant criticism, contempt, or defensiveness. Even staying together for decades is no guarantee that a couple will remain connected: The divorce rate for couples over 50 has doubled since 1990. Some people can walk away from years of marriage and instantly feel unburdened. For others, the end of a relationship that lasted just a few dates can trigger emotional trauma that lingers for years. However a breakup plays out, it can be a major stressor with an effect on ego and selfesteem that cannot be ignored.

Human attraction is driven by biological and evolutionary factors, but it can also be idiosyncratic. We may find ourselves attracted to many people, at least momentarily. Determining whether our interest in or connection with someone reflects a temporary infatuation or true love can sometimes be challenging, but research suggests that there are revealing clues in the other person’s behavior, and your own. One key early signifier that you may be serious about someone is stress: Repeatedly interacting with someone whose opinion matters deeply to you can fuel  anxiety

According to psychology, there are some universal human attractors: Men, for example, tend to be attracted to women with physical markers of youth and health. But in reality, you need not be exceptionally attractive to find a mate; only attractive enough to entice your mate. The theory of assortative mating holds that people who couple up tend to have similar levels of attractiveness: We seek, with some exceptions, people such as ourselves.

Generally people will make a snap judgment about whether a potential partner is attractive in a fraction of a second. In instances where people meet each other in a speed dating scenario, men were more likely than women to find their potential partners attractive and were more likely to base their verdict on looks.

Even people who date often and remain open to new people may not have an easy time finding long-term love. Statistics shows that the most successful couples meet through shared social networks or while pursuing a common interest, and couples with weaker social ties outside of each other may take longer to commit to marriage. Novelty can also be an important factor in relationship success: Someone who pushes you to consider new activities or beliefs that expand your self concept may be a partner with whom you can have a relationship that stays fresh for decades.

Finding the right partner may begin with physical attraction, but it's personality that tends to keep couples together. People who reveal themselves to be emotionally stable and agreeable tend to be more likely to have satisfying long-term relationships. In the thrilling early days of a relationship, we tend to ignore less favorable traits, which is why experts suggest that we not rush into long-term commitment and not delay discussing potential conflicts.

People who believe there is one perfect person out there for them, in other words, a soulmate, may struggle to find love. When one believes their eventual partner must be perfect (the “unity” mindset), they are more likely to end relationships that had a real chance of success over conflicts that may be solvable. Those who believe love is a journey and that relationships inevitably have ups and downs are much more likely to end up satisfied.

Deciding to get married, or to commit to each other in a less formal but equally emotionally significant way, is the biggest step many couples will take. If one believes that one person can never truly know another person, romantic commitment will always be a gamble. But when partners feel like they are equally devoted to each other, and express that through their words and behaviors, especially those that are less conscious, they can move forward with greater confidence and hope.

 Knowing whether your feelings for a partner are mutual is a challenge but research points to some relatively sure signs of a relationship development, such as initiating communication often and responding quickly to you, as well as using more “we” than “I” talk in conversation; a lack of hesitation about spending time together; and consistent simple gestures of affection like hand holding, hugging, and sitting or close by.

 Love is hard to define, although many researchers believe it encompasses passion, intimacy, and commitment, the three aspects of what’s known as “consummate love.” To see where you are, and help determine if it's love, some experts suggest asking yourself questions like, How often do I think about the person?; Is it exciting to see them?; How well do they know me?; Do I feel responsible for them?; and, Am I “all-in” with them?

**I tend to utilize the Carrie Bradshaw rule myself: “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.' "An American Girl In Paris" episode.

Strong relationships require different types of nurturing—physical, emotional, and attentional. Certain traits have been shown to be especially important for maintaining healthy connections. For example, each individual should, for starters, feel confident that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to them. And they must both be committed to addressing and accommodating the differences and challenges that will inevitably emerge.

In the most successful relationships, partners not only afford each other the benefit of the doubt; they take active supportive steps that foster a powerful sense of being on the same team. Maintained over the long term, research shows, that connection provides individuals a solid emotional base for pursuing their dreams and for bouncing back quickly when they encounter setbacks.

What’s the key to intimacy in a relationship? Feeling emotionally safe, which involves being both relaxed and open, may be an essential ingredient of true intimacy. When one partner gives in to criticism or contempt, and attacks the other, they can erode intimacy by triggering the other’s self-defense mechanisms and chipping away at their trust. This is one reason why research suggests that couples require many more positive than negative interactions with each other to maintain relationship health.

Maintaining a relationship requires some baseline measures of respect, which research suggests include a partner’s attention, affection, honesty, and gratitude, as well as a willingness to address conflict and an openness to sharing the household workload. The prolonged absence of these measures can jeopardize a relationship’s future, and so experts urge partners to address them when they become a concern

More than 80 percent of people in committed relationships report that their partner is their best friend, and research suggests that being a part of such a “two-in-one” relationship, or experiencing “companionate” love, brings significant emotional benefits, starting with the likelihood that a relationship will endure long-term. When couples together at least 15 years were asked to identify the number-one secret to their success, most pointed to their friendship.

An individual cannot feel secure in a relationship if they feel their partner is too critical of them or is constantly hovering to correct their perceived flaws. Over the long-term, it’s easy to become frustrated by a partner’s habits and to lash out when they refuse to change, but taking a step back and viewing a flaw in the context of the overall relationship should help you find the perspective and acceptance you need to maintain your connection.

I know. Observations, no solutions.



#love #relationships

Common-Law Marriages

  Pennsylvania dissolved CL marriages Jan 1st 2005, however those who were CL prior to this date were grandfathered in. Lawyers apparently ...